英検のライティングです。添削お願いします。 TOPIC

Question

英検のライティングです。添削お願いします。

TOPICSome people say that it is important for university students to take gym classes. Do you agree with this opinion?

POINTS
・choise
・Health
・Future

I agree that it is important for university students to take gym classes.
Firstly,theirs health are proteced by regular exersise. In many cases,if they do not to take gym classes,theirs health likely to get worse to worse. However by taking gym crasses,they will can keep their muscle.
Secondly,this choise will become a public concern. For example,it can provide a good opportunity for them to consider diet without doing exersize in their gym crasses,they all could not have such on opportunity.
In conclusion,I strongly agree with this opinion.

Answer 1

I agree that it is important for university students to take gym classes.
Firstly, their health is protected by regular exercise. In many cases, if they do not take gym classes, their health is likely to get worse to worse. However, by taking gym classes, they can keep their muscle.
Secondly, this choice will become a public concern. For example, it can provide a good opportunity for them to consider diet without doing exercise in their gym classes, they could not have such an opportunity.
In conclusion, I agree with this opinion.