英検準2級ライティングの添削お願いします。あと、ライティングのコツも良ければお願いします。

Question

英検準2級ライティングの添削お願いします。あと、ライティングのコツも良ければお願いします。質問 Do you think young people should have more opportunities to travel abroad?

自分の答え
I think that young people should have more opportunities totravel abroad.
I have two reasons.
First, to travel abroad is learn a lot of things.
For example, you can learn about foreign languages and cultures by traveling abroad.
Second, young people make foreign friends by traveling abroad.
That is why I think young people should have more opportunities to travel abroad.

よろしくお願いします。

Answer 1

First,you can learnのところはyoung people can learnでいいと思います。