英検のライティングの添削にchat GPT を使うのはどうですか？実際の採点

Question

People should stop using goods that are made from animals because the number of animals is limited and we can replace the materials that comes from animals into other one.First of all, all life on the earth has a right to live, as well as human. There isn't worth using these goods.Even we kill animals.And also, killing animals leads to destruction of the ecosystem.Second of all, some species are danger of extinction, and if we kill these species to create our goods, these animals are going to go extinction. The earth is not only for human, but also for other species.For these reasons mentioned above, we should use other materials to make our goods and we have to change our mind to protect animals、

英検準1級ライティング（2021年の過去問）
that comes → that come（materials は複数形）
into other one → with other materials
all life on the earth has a right → all living things on the earth have the right
as well as human → as well as humans
There isn't worth using → It is not worth using
Even we kill animals → Killing animals is wrong / Even if we kill animals, it is not worth it
are danger of extinction → are in danger of extinction

for human → for humans
✨ 添削後の模範解答（128語に近い）
People should stop using goods that are made from animals because the number of animals is limited, and we can replace the materials that come from animals with other materials. First of all, all living things on the earth have the right to live, as well as humans. It is not worth using these goods, and killing animals leads to the destruction of the ecosystem. Second of all, some species are in danger of extinction, and if we kill these species to create our goods, these animals will go extinct. The earth is not only for humans, but also for other species. For these reasons mentioned above, we should use other materials to make our goods, and we have to change our way of thinking to protect animals.これで 文法・語彙・構成すべて改善、字数も128語前後に収まっています。準1級ライティングなら 12〜14点/16点 を狙えます。

Answer 1

一番の問題点は
chatGPT 改訂稿にて
It is not worth using these goods
これが繋り無く登場してギョッとしたところです。別の文言で繋げる必要があります。
and killing animals leads to the destruction of the ecosystem
これも論理的に意味不明ですが、下記残しておきました。

＊chatGPT は論理的構成を正す力は十分ではないものの、そこそこのレベルの英作を出力する点で、論理構成では無く記述に重点を置いて採点する英検には使えそうですね。

別案
People should stop using animal-derived products. This is because the number of animals is limited and the animals can be replaced with other materials. First, all living things on Earth have the same right to live as humans. Thus, using these products violates the animals’ right to life, and killing animals leads to the destruction of the ecosystem. Second, some species are on the brink of extinction. If these species are killed to produce products, they will become extinct. The Earth exists not only for humans but also for other species. Therefore, we should use other materials to make products and change our mindset to protect animals. (107 words)